Friendship

My mom always told me that you find out who your true friends are when you are going through a difficult time. Whenever I would make a new friend and she would meet them she would tell me honestly what she thought of them and if they would be there for me when she was gone. I know that is probably a bit weird but seeing that my mom always had her death on her mind, I think it was her way of convincing herself that I would be taken care of.

In the past month and a half, I have truly seen who my real friends are. I would not be able to survive without their love and support. Some of them are friends that were close to me when my mom passed and some are good friends from the past that have walked back into my life. I wish I could express to all of them how much they mean to me. Some "friends" have shown their true colors over the weeks and it is really hitting hard knowing that the friendship was not what I thought. Friends that were in my "best friend" category have yet to have a conversation with me since my mom's passing. How is that possible? How are you so blinded when it comes to relationships? I wish these few "friends" knew how much it hurts to not have them by me right now. It is lonely enough to lose me mom and in a lot of ways my dad, I do not need to add friends to that mix.

Even with how much it hurts to not have those "friends" when I need them the most, I remind myself the amazing friends that I have. They listen to me talk on and on about memories of my mom and let me cry as long as I need to let everything out. I love these friends more than words can express!

It also amazes me that my mom's friends have been such a source of support. I love having them share memories of my mom from before I was born. I love learning my mom loved to go out and dance and hear about her love of life. Hearing these stories makes me feel more connected to my mom and hope to hear more as time goes on...

I guess I will end with a quote from a frame a friend gave me awhile back "it isn't about where you go or what you do, but who is beside you that really matters." Thanks to those that are standing beside me!